ARGHH! I'm so frustrated. Why should I love him? Why should I love anyone, but him? Argh. I really despise him. Why he's so cold, yet sometimes he's so nice? I can't stand this anymore. I want to forget about him but I can't! Every time I want to forget about him, he always does things that make me love him again. WHY? FUCK. ASSHOLE.
That's it. I'm going to end this right here, right now. I'll really forget about him. I'm serious. I won't hope, I won't pray for him anymore. If he suffers, let him be. I don't want to know any single thing about him anymore. Or else, that will only make me love him again and despise him more because I love him ;(. I'm really through with this. I don't want to be hurt more than this. This is enough. With this amount of hurting I can still do fine. But more? No. I'm not that strong. I DO NOT have a thousand of patience. I'm not GOD who has mercy. I'm human. And I'm a woman. I don't need a boy right now. I don't need love. I don't need to be loved. I just need my life. I just need to be strong :(.
Hey, If YOU read this, and realize that I'm talking about you, get a hold of yourself, will you? Don't be over confident just because I love you. Ooops, my mistake: JUST BECAUSE I LOVED YOU. PLEASE, I beg you. If you really do not love me, PLEASE just stay away from me. Don't always stares at me. I mean if you do that, you only gives me a false hope. But if you do love me ;) well, I think it's too late. I'm really fed up with these. I'm fed up with how jealous I am when you're so close with those girls. Or even 'a certain girl' that always close to you, and me? I'm just so far away from you. So FUCK with it. I know I'm not daring enough. But hey, that's the real me. If you don't like it, then DON'T MIND IT. Do you know how I hated 'a certain girl' that always teases me with you? I mean, I hate to be teased that way.
She's a bitch. A real time whore. No offense, but that's the truth. Do you know what did she say to me this afternoon? I was just joking with Al, which is not a real name of course, and she said to me 'Oh, jadinya sekarang kamu ngincer Al, bukannya Ryo?' Ryo is a false name I gave to the one I loved. So basically in English, what she just said was 'So, now you're aiming on Al, not aiming on Ryo?'. Can you believe it? She just said to me that points out I'm a bitch. I'm a slut who always aiming on boys. Isn't it supposed to be HER? I was so furious at her, then I just walked outside. I didn't say a single thing to her, I just walked outside. She begged for an apology. Sorry, but NO. So, just go out with her. Don't mind me. You don't love me right? Just love her.