Sick.: Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm terribly ill and tired.

Gosh. I know. I didn't follow the GO's try ouy today.
But that's because I'm too tired of all of these.
Come on.
I already had tests these few days. And that's really enough for me =__=;
My hand feels so sore. It's a lot better than yesterday.

I don't know why or how but when I woke up yesterday MY RIGHT HAND WON'T MOVE.
Great.
On the day of my school's tryouts?
I freaked out. I mean, I even could not move my right hand. Everytime I tried to move it, it felt like hell. Hurt so much >///<
And yesh, I cried that morning. Of course I WOULD cry if my own mother forced me to go to school and she was acting like it was nothing.
Oh no.
She doesn't know how I felt!

The pain? Argh. Do not ask =_=
Unbearable for me. At least. Maybe one of the factors that made me cry was my conditions.
The night before I studied er while netting. But I really studied.
Then my head hurts so much =__= a headache. Damn.
I couldn't walk properly. And of course I asked my mom for a medicine.
And do you know what she said to me?
"No. Just go to sleep. Too medicines will only make you an addict"
And I was angry. Completely angry. Yesh, that maybe true.
But I rarely drink those medicine! I drink it only when I feel I couldn't stand the headaches anymore. And she said that? Couldn't she at least look at her daughter's condition?
So I went to sleep. Weeping quietly.

fuck.

things are really annoying for me now.
a bad bad mood for me =__=
I'm back into a depressed mode. And now I just hope my hand would go numb again.

Tomorrow is my father's one year death anniversary. Yes, time travels fast. And it feels just like yesterday.
I miss him now. A lot. Thinking things he would do. I don't know why, I'm not sad anymore, but every time I remember him and his memories inside me I would go all teary. Huh. Maybe deep down I'm still mourning. Saddened.
Just wish he could be here right now.
Maybe I won't go to school tomorrow, because I need to go to his place.
I just hope tomorrow will be a better day, at least. And maybe lighten up my mood for everything.

I think I'll go for a nap now and weep.

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